Are you in conflict with an intimate partner, family member or someone else important in your life – and you can't seem to resolve it?
- This can stir up feelings of anger, worry, helplessness and deep hurt. These emotions may be so difficult that you might want to just let the relationship fall apart, or cut it off entirely. Or perhaps you're numbing yourself, not wanting to see the pain you're enduring.
- If any of this describes how you're adapting, what's the cost to you in terms of your contentedness and happiness?
Or perhaps there is no overt conflict, but you feel disappointed, not connected or not safe in the relationship.
- You may sometimes feel "that's just the way it is" and there is little you can do about it. But often, steps can be taken to improve things – at least when support is available.
And whether or not you're in an intimate relationship, you may struggle with feelings of loneliness and feeling separate from others.
- A part of you may want closer and more trusting relationships, but trying to create them may feel endlessly disappointing and frustrating. You may have mostly "given up." And you may feel quite ambivalent about getting close to others.
If any of this sounds familiar, I'm happy to work with you towards the goal of making things better. A major focus of my work as a psychologist and therapist over many years has been supporting clients in building relationships and resolving difficulties in them.
- One part of my approach is teaching very practical skills for dealing with interpersonal problems and deepening trust and connection. Which skills I might provide you will depend on your particular situation. I cover some of them in my book.
- I'll also want to help you understand what happens for you in your relationships. For example, what old ways of seeing yourself and seeing others get activated? For instance, do you feel small, dismissed, mistreated, or taken advantage of? And what emotions get triggered? Gaining more awareness of these kinds of factors often leads to greater freedom from them – and new opportunities for more rewarding relationships.
- Most likely, you'll also gain new ways of compassionately understanding the people in your life. Conduct you may be experiencing as hurtful and even bewildering could start making a whole lot more sense to you.
This approach of in-depth understanding combined with new skills frequently opens up exciting possibilities for more fulfilling relationships.
- The result can be much-improved current relationships or new, nourishing connections .
